1. Be objective and open-minded
Before you attempt to read people, you must first practice having an open mind. Do not let your emotions and past experiences influence your impressions and opinions.
If you judge people easily, it will cause you to misread people. Be objective in approaching every interaction and situation.
According to Judith Orloff M.D in Psychology Today, “Logic alone won’t tell you the whole story about anybody. You must surrender to other vital forms of information so that you can learn to read the important non-verbal inutive cues that people give off.”
She says that to see someone clearly you must “remain objective and receive information neutrally without distorting it.”
2. Pay attention to appearance
Judith Orloff M.D says that when reading others, try to notice people’s appearance. What are they wearing?
Are they dressed for success, which indicates they are ambitious? Or they are wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which means comfort?
Do they have a pendant such as a cross or Buddha which indicates their spiritual values? Whatever they wear, you can sense something from it.
Sam Gosling, a personality psychologist at the University of Texas and author of the book Snoop, says that you should pay attention to “identity claims”.
These are things people choose to show with their appearances, such as a t-shirt with slogans, tattoos, or rings.
Here’s Gosling:
“Identity claims are deliberate statements we make about our attitudes, goals, values, etc… One of the things that are really important to keep in mind about identity statements is because these are deliberate, many people assume we are being manipulative with them and we’re being disingenuous, but I think there’s little evidence to suggest that that goes on. I think, generally, people really do want to be known. They’ll even do that at the expense of looking good. They’d rather be seen authentically than positively if it came down to that choice.”
Also, some findings suggest that perhaps psychological traits can – to some degree – be read on a person’s face.
Vinita Mehta Ph.D., Ed.M. explains in Psychology Today:
“Higher levels of Extraversion were related to more protruding nose and lips, a recessive chin and masseter muscles (the jaw muscles used in chewing). By contrast, the face of those with lower Extraversion levels showed the reverse pattern, in which the area around the nose appeared to press against the face. These findings suggest that perhaps psychological traits can—to some degree—be read on a person’s face, though more studies would be needed to understand this phenomenon.”
3. Pay attention to people’s posture
A person’s posture says a lot about his or her attitude. If they hold their head high, it means they are confident.
If they walk indecisively or cower, it may be a sign of low self-esteem.
Judith Orloff M.D says that when it comes to posture, look for if they hold their high in a confident manner, or if they walk indecisively or cower, which indicates low self-esteem.
4. Watch their physical movements
More than words, people express their feelings through movements.
For example, we lean toward those we like and away from those we don’t.
“If they’re leaning in, if their hands are out and open, palms facing up, that’s a good sign that they are connecting with you,” says Evy Poumpouras, a former Secret Service special agent.
If you have observed that the person is leaning away, it means he or she is putting up a wall.
Another movement to notice is the crossing of arms or legs. If you see a person doing this, it suggests defensiveness, anger, or self-protection.
Evy Poumpouras says that “if someone is leaning in and all of a sudden you say something and their arms crossed, now I know I said something that this person didn’t like.”
On the other hand, hiding one’s hands means that they are hiding something.
But if you see them lip biting or cuticle picking, it means they are trying to soothe themselves under pressure or in an awkward situation.